you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize