Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
