party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
