porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
