i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
