i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
