I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
