I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
