Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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