i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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