She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
