Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(480): View more from Arizona

so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(480): so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic http://tfl.nu/3cem

Replies (94) Good night (8831) Bad night (2077)
Favorite
(949): View more from California

while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(949): while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/8zv1

Replies (20) Good night (8954) Bad night (642)
Favorite
(212): View more from New York

It's never good when you wake up covered with burns

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(212): It's never good when you wake up covered with burns http://tfl.nu/8fkk

Replies (15) Good night (712) Bad night (3927)
Favorite
(305): View more from Florida

Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(305): Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS. http://tfl.nu/tzd0

Replies (47) Good night (836) Bad night (9517)
Favorite
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(321): You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again. http://tfl.nu/dbiz

Replies (8) Good night (4334) Bad night (857)
Favorite
(607): View more from New York

please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(607): please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already http://tfl.nu/5kxb

Replies (8) Good night (2891) Bad night (1466)
Favorite
(954): View more from Florida

He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(954): He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up. http://tfl.nu/a8fn

Replies (13) Good night (4598) Bad night (890)
Favorite
(781): View more from Massachusetts

I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(781): I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body. http://tfl.nu/exdj

Replies (5) Good night (2060) Bad night (958)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre. http://tfl.nu/gzcq

Replies (5) Good night (2486) Bad night (719)
Favorite
(408): View more from California

I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(408): I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation. http://tfl.nu/jzil

Replies (6) Good night (1369) Bad night (780)
Favorite
(602): View more from Arizona

Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(602): Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...) http://tfl.nu/p4po

Replies (13) Good night (946) Bad night (1709)
Favorite
(980): View more from North Carolina

Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(980): Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew? http://tfl.nu/j4qs

Replies (12) Good night (2583) Bad night (613)
Favorite
(816): View more from Missouri

Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(816): Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays. http://tfl.nu/c3h2

Replies (11) Good night (3051) Bad night (651)
Favorite
(540): View more from Virginia

There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(540): There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day. http://tfl.nu/ga2m

Replies (5) Good night (937) Bad night (405)
Favorite
(586): View more from Michigan

I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(586): I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down. http://tfl.nu/ak0v

Replies (3) Good night (1009) Bad night (253)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: