Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
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hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
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Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.