Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.

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  (443): There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers. http://tfl.nu/zfa6
  Replies (24) Good night (1235) Bad night (2894)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...

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  (250): note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex... http://tfl.nu/vx0w
  Replies (51) Good night (762) Bad night (5613)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?

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  (608): hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests? http://tfl.nu/uq87
  Replies (17) Good night (609) Bad night (4749)
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  (607): View more from New York

  How was dinner with ur grandparents?

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."

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  (607): How was dinner with ur grandparents? (1-607) I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana." http://tfl.nu/9nup
  Replies (18) Good night (1475) Bad night (6626)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame

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  (571): i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame http://tfl.nu/i2ht
  Replies (48) Good night (8990) Bad night (716)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.

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  (513): You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing. http://tfl.nu/rrc8
  Replies (80) Good night (44938) Bad night (1999)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.

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  (716): I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad. http://tfl.nu/80p7
  Replies (27) Good night (6467) Bad night (773)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon

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  (561): I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon http://tfl.nu/z2jl
  Replies (21) Good night (4850) Bad night (554)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...

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  (480): This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk... http://tfl.nu/3yzu
  Replies (26) Good night (1693) Bad night (3471)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.

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  (812): I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking. http://tfl.nu/z4xo
  Replies (8) Good night (4166) Bad night (1206)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.

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  (330): Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys. http://tfl.nu/v1x6
  Replies (6) Good night (1727) Bad night (768)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  no you're not allowed back

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night

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  (509): no you're not allowed back (412): come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night http://tfl.nu/ng3d
  Replies (4) Good night (1576) Bad night (553)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid

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  (732): So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid http://tfl.nu/ju72
  Replies (5) Good night (519) Bad night (1305)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...

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  (302): OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but... http://tfl.nu/stjw
  Replies (6) Good night (824) Bad night (358)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus

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  (727): I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus http://tfl.nu/mpo6
  Replies (2) Good night (768) Bad night (154)

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