Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??

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(210): View more from Texas

So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.

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(216): View more from Ohio

i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time

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(753): View more from

He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment

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(408): View more from California

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

(479): View more from Arkansas

MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.

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