She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.