Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  but she's really nice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds. (301): but she's really nice http://tfl.nu/144l
  Replies (3) Good night (1185) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting http://tfl.nu/19oh
  Replies (20) Good night (2340) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska. http://tfl.nu/x618
  Replies (49) Good night (5648) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  my being single is dangerous.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): my being single is dangerous. http://tfl.nu/5ief
  Replies (24) Good night (5053) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up. http://tfl.nu/5d52
  Replies (13) Good night (1478) Bad night (6496)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role http://tfl.nu/5zob
  Replies (14) Good night (973) Bad night (4076)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more. http://tfl.nu/19ra
  Replies (3) Good night (2800) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm. http://tfl.nu/k80u
  Replies (5) Good night (3333) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean http://tfl.nu/gpjf
  Replies (14) Good night (4153) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+64): The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me. http://tfl.nu/8v6d
  Replies (1) Good night (1875) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt. http://tfl.nu/r2sr
  Replies (4) Good night (2480) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings... (610): And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually. http://tfl.nu/lwux
  Replies (3) Good night (1480) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs? http://tfl.nu/leke
  Replies (13) Good night (1008) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  ..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): ..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO! http://tfl.nu/1dq3
  Replies (0) Good night (474) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.

  (818): View more from California

  I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it. (818): I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!" http://tfl.nu/kovh
  Replies (4) Good night (517) Bad night (256)

Randomize