I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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