Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
