ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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