Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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