My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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