Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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