Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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