Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
