today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
