I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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