I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
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We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
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Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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