i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
