I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
