why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
