sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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