someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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