what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
