they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
love makes seman taste better
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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