I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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