dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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