Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
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