someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
