like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
