this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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