Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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