this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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