your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Are my feet made of real feet?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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