Umm I'm too high to move.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is it because I queefed?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
