hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I am midnight drunk by noon
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
