the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
