I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
