So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
