if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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