Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
