He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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