I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
