I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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