i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
