Your tits are I can't wait for
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Randomize
