my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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