So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
