Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
