About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
