It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
