Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
