You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize