we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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