I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
